The Sleepless Night

You know, you can never tell what will happen to you in life. I never thought I'd be sitting outside in the freezing cold at 2 am with a little old lady in my care, desperately hoping she would decide to go back inside again. But, that's exactly what did happen......



Last Wednesday, I did an overnight shift at an assisted living facility. I was told to be sure and not let this certain elderly lady go out the door. In fact, according to her son I was to strong-arm her into NOT going out if she came out of her room during the night. I though....hey, this couldn't be all that bad. If she comes out of her room, fine...... all I have to do is distract her and efficiently help her back to her room. So I prepared myself for a long night ahead with several cups of strong coffee & an assortment of magazines. I also had some very interesting chats with 2 other caregivers there. One of them told me so much about her life, I felt rather uncomfortable! For some reason.....people like to talk to me. I guess it's because I really try to be a good listener. But really....I can do without some of the personal info.......

I was doing swimmingly there until about 1 am. Then, I heard the clacking of the elderly lady's walker coming down the hallway. I took a deep breath, then went to meet her. I asked her if she needed any help. She did NOT need help, she said. She just wanted to catch the bus, and would I please move out of her way?? I tried changing her mind with other suggestions but to no avail. She not only refused to go back, but started to get very angry with me, threatening to scream really loud if I did not move my myself out of her way. It kind of surprised me, because most elderly people will usually do what you suggest, even if they don't want to. You can usually distract them by using some sort of clever phsycology. But I maybe I'm just not used to dealing with this sort of thing like some people. I haven't been a caregiver that long.

To make a long story short, I spent a good deal of time that night outside, in the cold with her. I could not get her to go back in the building for the life of me, and neither could the other caregiver. No amount of coaxing helped, she was so paranoid and thought she was being tricked. I felt very annoyed with her, yet sorry, too. She was so confused and looked so miserable. I couldn't help but wonder what type of life she led as a younger woman.
This may sound bad, but I was hoping the sprinkler might come on in the flower bed behind the bench she was sitting on and shock her into moving! But, of course it didn't. At one point, I couldn't help but laugh inwardly thinking about the situation & wondering what God thought as He saw me sitting there shivering pitifully......


Needless to say, I was so tired from the night, having not even got one wink of sleep, that I could barely function. The worse part was, I had to go do my regular house cleaning job I do every Thursday, sleep or nor sleep. So, that was really awful. While I was there.....the vacuum cleaner quit working and I had to take it apart 2 times to see why the roller brush wasn't moving. But, in the end..... I did get it fixed!! I have to admit I squeezed out a few tears of self pity over all that! It just wasn't my day....

I think I've caught up on my sleep now. It's amazing how lack of sleep can really throw you for a loop, and make you feel like a lifeless glob of goo.

I just love this picture I took of my cousin, Megan! We found a log on the beach at Dungeness with two holes in it....one at each end. I thought, what a great picture this would be, and Megan willingly posed for me. ;-)

Though He slay me.

I can't believe how quickly summer is going! Before we know it.....it will be fall time again. Then Christmas. The other day, I mentioned to someone that Christmas was about 6 months away & I was met by a scowl and a " how can you say such a thing, Lana!" I guess some people would rather not think such morbid thoughts. I, on the other hand am already looking forward to fall time and Christmas! Not that I want summer to just zip by & be only a fleeting memory, but I so love that time of year. There's nothing more fun & cozy about a warm, crackling fire in the woodstove, an apple pie candle burning and curling up with a good book. And a cat on your lap, too.....which makes it even more cozy!

Ok, so I'll move on to other things. No more sentimentalizing ( is that a word?) is going to be done here today about fall time.....

I'm so amazed and comforted by God's love today. Today, it hit me very strongly in church while we were singing, that God does love me, and is for me. Some of you may say that is just a given fact, that we should always know and be aware of His love. Well, I do know He loves me, but sometimes I wonder how He can. I've failed Him so much, chosen to do my own thing, and cheated Him of my time with Him. Still....he graciously forgives, forgets and never holds it against me! Even when I'm so mistrustful, stumbling around in the darkness of my own foolish despair......He is there to help me. I have been through a very dark time in my life of late, barely hanging on and wishing for the sun to shine again. Yet, I have always known that He IS there, no matter how hopeless the circumstances may be. He is looking on with love and if only I'll trust Him completely....He will not only see me through, but bring me through these trials with a victorious shout!

I am DETERMINED to get all I can out of this, to stop struggling, murmuring and wishing for it to end. I am convinced that when I am still.... then and only then.... will He bring my trials to an end. Oh, it may not be instantly, it may even last much longer than I want it to....but He has promised that He WILL deliver me, so I know He will when the time is right! "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him". Job 13:15

Sloshing around Seattle

I'm just taking a quick moment to jot down a few thoughts, since I really, really should be getting supper started.

We had such a nice visit with my cousin & her family this past week! As usual....the time always flies by & before we know it, we're saying goodbye and hugging each other fiercely......wishing they could stay just ONE more day longer. Michelle and her family live in Alberta, Canada....and if we're fortunate, we get to see them once a year.......sometimes twice if it works out. If only they didn't live so far way we could see them more often!

The 3 of us girls.....Michelle, my sister and I had a blast in Seattle. We caught the ferry in Bremerton on Wednesday. We had a rather frazzled beginning, getting a wee bit lost trying to find the parking lot for the ferry dock. Then, a near accident because some idiot didn't have any patience with my rather confused driving, nearly side-swiped us. Yikes....it shook us up a bit! Once we got aboard the ferry........we had a great time sailing across the ocean blue. Well, it wasn't exactly the ocean blue....more like murky, grey water with no sunshine to make it sparkle. Yes, it was a gloomy day, with clouds galore. We couldn't even see Mt. Rainier. I was hoping to get a good picture of it, but it ended up looking like just a very large hill enrobed in ghostly fog.

We enjoyed walking down by the waterfront in Seattle, visiting shops, talking, and taking pictures. Of course we had to go into the Old Curiosity shop.......who could resist such a weird place?! I bought a little plastic box filled with Mexican jumping beans & a Seattle refrigerator magnet. Those beans are amazing the way they jump around for no reason.......

Later on, we met up with my uncle up by Pike Place market to have lunch with him. He works at a local TV station and was able to meet us right after he got off work. He knows the area quite well, so it was nice to have him as a guide. He showed us the very first Starbucks store! Just think what just that one building started.....!! Billions of dollars later, the coffee industry is still booming here..... and all over, for that matter.

We decided to try a neat Cajun resturant called Bayou on 1st. The food there was very spicy, but yummy! I had a chicken sausage po' boy along with a rocket arugula salad. Michelle shared her shrimp gumbo with me, too which was terribly good!

We did a little bit of shopping at the market after that. I bought some lavender Herbs de Provence for mom, and some lavender facial cream, which turned out to smell rather rancid when I opened it at home later. Trust me to buy something like that.....

Then we went to the Sea Aquarium where we were wowed & awed by all the different types of fish and sea life. It never fails to amaze me how intricate and colorful some of that stuff is! God sure had an imagination when He created sea life!!

When we were about to leave Seattle, the clouds let loose and the rest of the time was spent sloshing along the streets. But, we still managed to have a good time, and even took one more chance to get something to eat before we left. We chose Ivars, where the fish & chips are pretty wonderful!!

The ferry trip back to Bremerton was un-eventful and full of yawns on our part. We just stayed in our seats this time, instead of roaming the ferry like we did on the way to Seattle. We were too tired to move!

I guess that will do it for now. I've run out of things to say......

Just some random thoughts.

It's yet another rainy day here. I know that this time of year can be so rainy, but honestly.....it's getting a little old! We have been having some nice days here & there, though. Just yesterday it was like 77. I just wish it would keep it up! I get all inspired to make the yard look beautiful, and spend one day at it, then it has to go & rain.....which takes the wind right out of my sails!

I just can't get over how lush & green the plants are! So happy to see my Sweet Cicely growing in lacy, white masses all over the place. It smells like licorice when you press the leaves! Also, the feverfew and lemon balm are growing like mad, not to mention the peppermint! Mom & I made the dumb mistake of planting it IN the garden, and not in some remote spot where it could grow its little heart out without being criticized. It's just spilling out onto the lawn, like some wild tidal wave. If anybody knows how invasive mints can be.....well, then you can imagine what this is like. But, you know.....it's worth it( I think) to smell it in the air, when you mow the grass by the garden! I love the scent of peppermint!!

I'm so tired today. I didn't sleep very well last night. I was at my overnight job where I stay with sweet, little Mrs. P., who has Alzheimer's. I had trouble getting to sleep as it was. ( too much caffeine late in the day!) Then the dog woke me up scratching at his kennel door to be let out. So, of course I had to let him outside which got me wide awake all over again. I'm sure I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. No wonder I feel like like I do right now.

Then I come home about 6am, and very foolishly didn't take a nap, but instead I trotted off to a rummage sale at 9. All would have been well & good, because I love going to sales......but this sale was soooooo dumb!! So disgusting and a waste of time!

I pass by a flower shop when I go to work, and they usually have a sign out saying " If your name is ____ come in for a free rose". And do they ever have common names?? Oh no......they have names like Barney, Reba, Conrad and Stu. Now tell me.....who, now days is named Conrad?!
Expecting them to put the name Lana is a bit much, but honestly........why not some more familiar names, like Tom, Jessica or Scott? Today, the name was Bella. I suspect the movie Twilight has a lot to do with that name choice.

I have no idea why I went into all that........

Well, all for today!